Waking Up

I have been clean a long time but I have still been addicted to much. I over eat I smoke and I still have a few beers now and then. I manage not to do any hard core drugs but these other addictions are taking their toll on my health. I am going through all of this alone without a friend or any other type of support system. Thank God for the Florida quit for life line. They are helping to quit smoking cigarettes without realizing how much more I needed. I take what I learn from my quit coach to handle other cravings like the ones I still get from my crack addiction. This is hard and with things going from bad to worse for me financially it is getting harder to stay the course. I am trying to turn my life around but it seems I am the only one that wants that. It is so hard sometimes, I can't find steady work, I can't get medical attention and this past month I became $800.00 in debt because of Amazon. I sold on their site for a third party, this person did not ship the items in time and now that all of the orders are shipped they are withholding my payment for 90 days. Now that would not be so bad but my credit union has already been hit for my portion of the wholesale payments for the products, hence the $800.00 is a lot of money for someone who is living virtually hand to mouth. In 90 days I will lose my bank account and my place to live. Some days death would be better but I cannot allow myself to think like this for much longer.